Monday, April 27, 2009

caring is costly

soundtrack CARING IS CREEPY the shins 

"one death is a tragedy, but a million deaths are a statistic." - joseph stalin

that quote has got to be the saddest truth ever said.
why is it that numbers can either amplify or condense facts?
it can either cause you to think or feel apathetic.
numbers are just numbers after all right? they're supposed to just help you count,
but what happens when they appeal to your emotions as well?

i need to vent.

during a talk at the hospital it was said that you cannot always care. obviously, that caught my attention. he continues to say that: HIV patients are merely a minority when compared to the rest of the population. is it practical to spend a substantial amount of funding on research when it is not an immediate threat that affects the vast majority? you cannot always care. your resources are limited and experiments are expensive. your heart is in the right place, your concern is understandable, and your inquisitiveness is admirable, but unfortunately your fund is deficient.

i always tell myself to refrain from negative emotions, but i can't help but feel....umm what's the word...angry? irate? annoyed? nope, that's not it. for lack of better words, i feel very bothered. it's disheartening to hear. my heart feels heavy after hearing that, i don't know why. it was just a conversation. maybe it's because it was the truth. the cold, hard truth that as ruthless and painful as it may be, caring is costly.

sorry i'm broke and so is my heart,

Saturday, April 18, 2009

daddy times two

soundtrack YOU BELONG TO ME grey holiday

on a non-school day, my dad decides to wake me up at 9 in the morning... i mean, 9 doesn't sound all that early right? right? but for someone's who's been currently stuck in asia's time zone (just because i have been catching up with my childhood friends online), it sure is early, considering that i haven't reached 8 hours of sleep yet. anyways, as i was saying... 

dad: let's go to the mall today
me: do i have to?
dad: c'mon get up, just come with me okay?
me: fine, fine 
dad: be ready in 30 minutes 
me: alright

daddio let me drive him to the mall, and on our way there he tells me that he wanted to surprise my mom with a little something. when i asked why, he simply said, "just because". yes, i'm not gonna lie, that was a total AWWW moment. LOL. i love my dad to bits. he always finds a way to surprise my mom whether it be a big present, a simple thought, or a kind act. and so, if my earthly daddio is able to do kind and generous gestures like that, what more my heavenly father? GOD is very generous too -- wow, that's got to be the most understated statement ever told. HE is more than generous. HE gives continuously because HE loves unceasingly. i love my dad, yes BOTH of them =) 

daddy's girl, 

P.S. speaking of surprises...

Monday, April 13, 2009


soundtrack HIGH & LIFTED UP hillsong

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." 
-- Albert Einstein (Science, Philosophy and Religion: a Symposium", 1941)

what do i believe in?
everyone has an opinion. everyone blogs about their opinion.
we all have something to say. we all have something worth telling. 
what do i believe in?
there are innumerable thoughts in people's minds.
there are several theories that claim people's attention.
what do i believe in?
many are captivated by knowledge, by science, by convincing theories. 
you've heard about them, we've all heard them. 
what do i believe in?
i believe that the earth and its surrounding galaxies are beautiful. it is breathtakingly, cosmologically, magnificently fascinating. it is perfect. because of its beauty, many have been consumed with thoughts of its true beginning. many wonder how did it come to be? how did it all take place? what are the series of events that produced this beauty? yes, these thoughts have got me thinking, and yes it has left me too perplexed too many times. honestly, i don't think about it too much.. not because i know that i will never get a solid, concrete answer, but because i am satisfied with what i believe. 
what do i believe in?
i believe that creation is wonderful. i believe that our thoughts are a fascinating relay of neurons and electrical impulses within our system that causes us to ponder and wonder about every single thing. 
what do i believe in?
i believe that there is a GOD that created it all. i also believe that as beautiful and wonderful as our earth is, HE is merely pleased at this creation and doesn't pay much thought to it. because ultimately, HE tells me that this earth was a gift. this earth is one of the many blessings HE created for us. the beginning of the universe should not matter so much to us but rather the purpose of its creation. it was created for us to live in temporarily, during our short stay. the universe was created for me, for you, for humanity. it was created because of HIS love. it was created for HIS favorite creation. 
what do i believe in?
i believe a simple thank you will never be enough, but i'll try to say it everyday anyway. 
what do you believe?

created to believe, 

her lips,
they speak.

you can call me ES. i'm a vagabond. i like to wander, and so do my thoughts. rock, paper, scissors? i choose paper. i can express myself better through it. whether it be through words, fashion, or music, the important thing is to make a statement. be bold, be beautiful, be no one else but you.

i'm the queen of one-liners, or so i've been told// shoes always fit. numbers never lie. music is used when words fail. love is the great reversal. emotions are fickle. passion is consistent. God's love is constant. God instills passion.

*credits:, alluring dejection,
*best viewed: 1024x768 resolution


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